he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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