I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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