WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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