I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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