dude i'm inner monologue high
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
