I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
