He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
farters have to be the big spoon...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
