Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
