Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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