Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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