Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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