I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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