Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My feet surprised me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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