I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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