I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just gargled with NyQuil
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
