whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
