just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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