Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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