she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
