I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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