I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
