I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
high people should be assigned attendants
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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