I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
