She is in my trunk
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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