i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
