She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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