im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I deserve this hangover.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
