Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile. http://tfl.nu/zkhz
  Replies (30) Good night (756) Bad night (3203)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it. http://tfl.nu/5uvk
  Replies (33) Good night (1506) Bad night (4509)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair. http://tfl.nu/rhhz
  Replies (26) Good night (841) Bad night (5672)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul http://tfl.nu/g7t1
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (3319)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground http://tfl.nu/2c7r
  Replies (40) Good night (10793) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot. http://tfl.nu/xw8q
  Replies (11) Good night (2937) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dkws
  Replies (4) Good night (3010) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure http://tfl.nu/8ozd
  Replies (5) Good night (2438) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals. http://tfl.nu/o042
  Replies (4) Good night (655) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours. http://tfl.nu/u4n6
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high? http://tfl.nu/rga0
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog." http://tfl.nu/q8wu
  Replies (8) Good night (351) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this http://tfl.nu/dy6c
  Replies (4) Good night (253) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm. http://tfl.nu/owix
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (180)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude. http://tfl.nu/4dzv
  Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (235)

Randomize