Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.