How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
