ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??

  Fav 59 2322 3563

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes

  Fav 54 3110 6392

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.

  Fav 8 1263 5312

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day

  Fav 10 1593 2916

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.

  Fav 15 3112 2184

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.

  Fav 5 2260 1241

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (417): View more from Missouri

  Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel

  Fav 11 2642 1320

  share tweet
  

• (+35): View more from

  I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.

  Fav 7 2604 1065

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.

  Fav 10 2567 1341

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (971): View more from Oregon

  There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.

  Fav 4 1919 722

  share tweet
  

• (808): View more from Hawaii

  They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008

  Fav 1 1658 798

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time i carry you out of a forest

  Fav 8 1229 764

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.

  Fav 4 994 940

  share tweet
  

• (623): View more from Arizona

  So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.

  Fav 1 300 172

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (912): View more from Georgia

  No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.

  Fav 2 185 73

  share tweet
  

Randomize