i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
