i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
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He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again