I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat