I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
