Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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