this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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