Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
