I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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