you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
