Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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