she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
