she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
