I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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