You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
