Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Still dying that you shit outside
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
