he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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