Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
