last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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