You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
