I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
