She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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