I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
