We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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