I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
