Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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