with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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