now i know why i became what i already was.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
