There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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