meet me or not, i'm out of control
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
