i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My vagina just recognized that song.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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