I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
