Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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