no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
