Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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