Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
