So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
