paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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