why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
