His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
