atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable