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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.

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• (626): View more from California

  My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".

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• (516): View more from New York

  I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs

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• (845): View more from New York

  i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day

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• (518): View more from New York

  The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.

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